One Year of the CKT: Comics We Loved

There certainly were a lot of high quality comics published during the Cool Kids Table's first year of existence, which is an excellent thing for those of you who like to read about things other than Kiel's musings on giant Gundams and my man crush on Matt Damon.

I had the boys send me the stuff they truly loved from the past year and added it to my own to create this visual smorgasboard to what we consider the goods in comics over the last twelve months.

Want bonus points? Try to guess who picked what (a word of warning: some picks were selected by two or even all three of us).

ALL STAR SUPERMAN #12

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #578-579

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #600

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: EXTRA! #2

BAD KIDS GO TO HELL #1

BATMAN AND ROBIN #1

BLUE BEETLE #36

BOYS CLUB #3

CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI13: VAMPIRE STATE

DEADPOOL: SUICIDE KINGS

FINAL CRISIS #6

FINAL CRISIS: LEGION OF 3 WORLDS

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY 2009 AVENGERS

GHOST RIDER

GREEN LANTERN #43

HOUSE OF MYSTERY

I KILL GIANTS

INCREDIBLE HERCULES

INVINCIBLE #63

THE MOURNING STAR #2

MYSTERIUS THE UNFATHOMABLE

NEVER LEARN ANYTHING FROM HISTORY

STRANGE TALES #1

TEN THOUSAND THINGS TO DO #2

WEDNESDAY COMICS

YOUNG ALLIES COMICS 70TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL

Melrose Memo IV: Vine

The facts: the original Melrose Place is probably my favorite television show of all time. I could write an essay on why, but let's just leave it at "it is" for now. I have waited patiently for a decade, and now at long last my beloved Melrose has been remade for a new generation...but will it be any good? That is what I will explore here each Tuesday night (or Wednesday evening) in the Melrose Memo. I understand that those of you coming here for comics, movie or general geek news probably have little to no interest in hearing my thoughts on this program, but people--it's Melrose Place.

Now, as my friend Sean would say, read on if you wish, but do not allow me to spoil the elaborate mythology of this show for you; in other words, watch before reading!

-The good news up front: despite poor initial ratings, the CW has picked up Melrose for six more episodes, proving once again it is the network that at least gives new shows a chance to find their audience...unless you're The Beautiful Life: TBL (but really those initials doomed it from the start). Seriously though, glad to hear The CW feels the show is "on the right track creatively," as I tend to agree, and am glad that merits the faith. On to tonight's episode...

-...and while it wasn't the worst, and was still highly enjoyable, it wasn't the new Melrose's best, despite some bright spots (which I'll get into). The main failing of tonight's ep I think came from a lack of Laura Leighton and Thomas Calabro, as while the younger cast definitely seems to be coming into their own, there's no doubt those two add some spice that differentiates this show from being just another CW soap. Clearly the writers felt that Josie Bissett's return as Jane would cover for the lack of Sydney/Michael action, but that's very much trying to jam a square peg into a round hole (more on Jane in a bit). Breaking from the flashback structure that had been established was also a bit awkward (thankfully they seem to be back next week).

-On the bright side, this was David's strongest episode yet in my eyes, as he is steadily climbing from one of my least favorite characters to the credible male lead the show needed. He had an odd chemistry with Auggie (definite bromance potential) and then a far more obvious one with Ella, so all his scenes were solid. He also broke out a decent cross-armed lean against a brick wall in an back alley as well as nice cocky douchebag moves while blackmailing, both headliner events in the Melrose Olympics. And hey, if you're a male character in primetime who wants to win over Ben Morse as a fan, throwing punches at the most inopportune time and preferably destroying at least one piece of furniture in the process is the way to do it.

-So it's been a decade, but Josie Bissett still hasn't really mastered the art of conveying believable emotion, at least with this character. It's not all poor Josie's fault though, as perhaps the folks behind MP 2009 didn't watch enough of the original to know that Jane is at her absolute worst when she tries to play the villain, and tonight was no exception. Having watched the character for six seasons, I know not to take her seriously when she tries to blackmail or threaten, but I'm wondering if virgin viewers felt the same way. She also got totally owned by Ella and even David, not just from a character sense, but an acting one as well. She was fine as a plot device/nostalgia guest, but I'm not anxious to see much more Jane unless she's interacting with other original characters.

-The one thing I am glad to see is that Jane remains a terrible fashion designer who can't understand why people don't love her hideous dresses, so at least we had a nice bit of continuity.

-Speaking of continuity, however, I'm bummed they didn't at least give some explanation of where Jane's husband, Kyle, and the baby she was carrying in the series finale of the original Melrose were. I get that Josie Bissett and Rob Estes got divorced in real life plus he's on 90210, so an actual Kyle spotting is unlikely (I can dream!), but even a throwaway line would have been nice.
-Two questions about the scene where the cops come to interrogate Violet: 1. Did that detective really just compliment her lamp? and 2. Did she jump out the same window Alison used to ditch her wedding to Billy?

-Y'know, I totally forgot Ella was bisexual until she asked Lauren if that female intern was hot--I have a feeling the writers did too.

-On the subject of Ella, Katie Cassidy continues to be the absolute breakout star of this show, absolutely shining in every scene she's in as well as elevating any character she comes into contact with. She is brilliant with the little touches, from the self-important way she holds her hands and arms while walking to the fast-talking/mumbling she tried to employ to get Jane hired by her boss. She does a great job balancing the over-the-top melodrama of classic Melrose with the more earnest approach this incarnation seems to be going for and is just a joy to watch.

-Ella's boss is in a Capture the Flag league? There are Capture the Flag leagues?!

-I don't get why Lauren is surprised that a guy propositions her in a hotel lobby when she is clearly wearing a hooker dress (Megan disagrees). In any event, the client who refused to pay was an interesting twist in Lauren's ongoing plot, but I think her whole thing needs to go somewhere, as the novelty is wearing off; thank goodness Kelly Carlson of The Marine fame showed up as a madam to make that happen (and holy crap does this show need a John Cena cameo now)!

-Nice to see the "every important event ever happens at Shooters or Kyle's" trope from the original has re-manifested with the restaurant Auggie works at here.

-I'm glad Jonah actually appreciated Riley's efforts to schmooze in order to advance his career as opposed to them getting into another predictable argument (it definitely seemed like they were headed there). Jonah is also getting his best moments as the guy getting increasingly frustrated that nobody else can see that Violet is batshit crazy.

-And speaking of everybody's favorite psychopath, more quality stuff from her this week, particularly her delusions about how happy Sydney was to learn about her and how much she seems to buy into said fantasy. I'm glad the stuff about her being Syd's daughter is out in the open but there is still both lies and mysteries surrounding the character. From what I'm reading about upcoming episode descriptions, the best is still yet to come with Vi as it sounds like once she meets Michael, the shit really hits the fan (in a good way).

-"Like I'm going to go bail out Marge if she's in jail." -Megan on why she wouldn't help out our deaf 80-year old neighbor like Riley did for Violet.

-Let's wrap things up by celebrating a trio of lines that made me start to like David this episode...

-"You did pretty well for your first time. The steering wheel can be a bit tricky." -David after having sex in the driver's seat of his car with some random chick.

-"Next time you divorce a paranoid psychopath, change your computer password." -David to Jane on Michael having dirt on her.

-"It makes sense, she does have red hair." -David on how obvious Violet being Sydney's daughter is in retrospect.

-But wait! Line of the night still goes to Ella, who brushes off David's claim that they had a "good time" hooking up the night before with this gem: "Don't flatter yourself, David, I always have a good time."

-As a final note, I have yet to understand the meaning a of a single episode title since "Pilot."

One year of the Cool Kids Table

I can't believe it was one year ago today that I first posted a welcome to the Cool Kids Table (and learned that the web address for that name was taken so I had to spell "Kidz" with a "z" like it was 1999).

More than that, I can't believe that Kiel, Rickey and myself have been able to motivate ourselves to keep posting here for twelve months and not have any of us drop out, but here we are.

I have totally fallen in love with having this blog and having a place to express myself through writing (and the occasional bad doodle) has been such a joy. Getting to come home and jot down my thoughts on comics or wrestling or movies or Melrose Place has proven a fun, rewarding and often frankly therapeutic experience.

Thanks to all of you who have come here over the past year and given us a shot; whether you've chimed in with comments or read in silence, we sincerely appreciate that anybody, let alone a fairly impressive (by our standards) amount of folks seem to want to hear what we have to say.

I really dig that both people I have never actually met follow this blog but at the same time my older cousins (because hopefully they are not letting their kids read anything I write) come up to me at family events and let me know I was right on about how Subway used to be way better (incidentally, I still don't think any single post has generated more discussion both on and offline than that one; amazing). It's a treat when comic professionals stop by or when guys I haven't heard from in years somehow find their way here.

We're glad you were all along for the ride and hope you don't plan on jumping off any time soon (and tell your friends about us!). You've all earned a seat at the Cool Kids Table.

We've got some neat anniversary stuff coming up this week as well as some visual changes you'll notice popping up here and there (including colors I can't see), but mostly we're just going to continue doing what we do best: being awesome.

Thanks again and kudos to my partners-in-crime for being nuts enough to enter into this endeavor with me. To really kickstart the celebration, here's a picture of us in San Diego with Sean McKeever.*

*-Sean McKeever will not be joining the Cool Kids Table. Sorry Sean, we just don't think you're quite there yet; we love you though, and Nomad is excellent.

The Definitives: Green Arrow

If comic book fandom worked like a dating service where you input the qualities you're looking for in a character whose adventures you'd like to follow and get handed your best match, odds are I would have been a Green Arrow devotee from early on (how 'bout that for a weird opening analogy).

Cocky and outspoken, not to mention swashbuckling and romantic, Oliver Queen is an underdog who shares my real-life love (ok, like) of archery and has all Batman's cool gadgets plus a sense of humor to boot. How could I not have been Green Arrow for every Halloween from 6th grade on?

Well, mainly because Ollie Queen was mostly MIA during my first run as a comics reader.

Not long after I started getting into comics seriously and almost immediately after I began to expand my tastes into the broader DC Universe beyond Superman and Batman, the original Green Arrow took a dirtnap courtesy of terrorists and was replaced by his son, Connor Hawke. Nowadays I have a decent enough appreciation of what Connor brings to the table, and he did have that one really cool Grant Morrison JLA story where he kicked the Key's ass, but a Buddhist martial artist who didn't seem to like girls wasn't really what the doctor ordered for adolescent Ben.

When I got back into comics in college, though, Oliver Queen was re-experiencing a somewhat unlikely resurgence as Kevin Smith had resurrected Ollie and brought him to heights of success he'd never before gotten anywhere near. After getting into Smith's GA, I delved a bit into the past of the character and quickly discoverd I hadn't missed much; the truly great Green Arrow stories of the pre-Smith era were indeed quite good, but in my humble opinion, they were somewhat few and far between (though, to be fair, I haven't read a lot of the Denny O'Neil/Neal Adams stuff). Interestingly enough, for a character so often linked to the 70's liberal movement, I think between his last nine years of comic book appearances and Justin Hartley's standout performance on Smallville, Oliver Queen's best decade ever has been the last one.

Nonetheless, there have been quality yarns of the Emerald Archer sprawled across the past 68 years since his inception; here are the one that made the biggest impression on me...

"A Member No More!"
Like most Golden Age and early Silver Age DC super heroes, Green Arrow had no real unique personality to call his own; just another smiling do-gooder who spoke in exclamations and liked to smile a lot. Then, in the 70's, writer Denny O'Neil stripped Oliver Queen of his fortune, gave him a social conscience, and created the cantakerous windbag with a heart of gold we've all grown to love. In Justice League of America #173, GA pushes for the team to recruit Black Lightning based on the work the new hero is doing cleaning up the streets of Metropolis, but after BL rebukes the team, he chides Ollie for not focusing on that type of crime afflicting the average man himself. So eight issues later in JLoA #181, Gerry Conway pens this beauty, in which Green Arrow lectures Superman, Flash, et al about how busy they are stopping alien invasions while folks go hungry on the street, then quits the team, but not before going on one last mission with them and putting Felix Faust down for the count with a lucky shot after all his more powerful teammates fall; it was a defining moment for Green Arrow (and one tweaked and re-imagined wonderfully years later in JLA: Incarnations #3, an issue of a limited series I really need to cover in Underrated/Overlooked sooner rather than later).
Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters
I just borrowed this mini from TJ within the last couple months, and while it could not possibly be much further from the wisecracking Green Arrow I typically favor, it's such a powerful work and a strong take on the character that still makes sense. Essentially writer/artist Mike Grell had the idea to move Green Arrow out of the super hero realm, where he always seemed redundant or outmatched, and redefine him as an "urban hunter," really just a dude with a bow and arrow who polices Seattle after hours taking down drug dealers and the like. Grell's art is lush and gorgeous, which kind of goes without saying if you've ever seen his work, but his character work is so strong here. He doesn't shy away from the fact that Ollie has always seemed a few years older than his JLA contemporaries, delving into the fact that he may be having a mid-life crisis (personified by his relationship with the far younger Black Canary, who Grell also has a great handle on) and is not able to rely on his physical prowess and gadgets as much as he once could. The story is a dark and often shocking one that sees Black Canary physically abused by drug runners, Ollie reacting in kind, and the morally ambiguous archer assassin Shado entering Green Arrow's world. It's not pretty, but it's intense, masterfully structured and would set off over 80 issues of a Green Arrow renaissance under Grell.
"Zero Hour: Crisis in Time"
Oliver Queen's last hurrah in his initial run as Green Arrow as well as his first real interaction with the wider DC Universe in years came at the conclusion of the 1994 Zero Hour event, and whether writer/artist Dan Jurgens realized it or not, he gave the Emerald Archer a helluva sendoff. GA doesn't appear until the very last issue of the main mini, wherein his old pal Hal Jordan (formerly Green Lantern, now Parallax) has effectively destroyed the universe and is about to remake it "for the better"; Waverider managed to save a few heavy hitters like Superman and Captain Atom, but also snagged Ollie from oblivion in hopes he might be able to talk his fellow hard-travelling hero down from the ledge. Jurgens truly makes Ollie look ragged and worn here, a shell of the one-time Green Arrow who makes no secret he feels his best days are behind him with his pessimism and lack of faith in his own abilities--a far cry from the guy who walked out on the Justice League. But when all of existence is on the line and an innocent life is lost, Green Arrow pulls back his quiver and makes the most difficult shot of his life; Jurgens captures the raw emotion of the seemingly final interaction between Ollie and Hal with such power, poignancy and tragedy that it would bring a tear to a glass eye. The fact that Green Arrow's role in Zero Hour came so out of left field was perfect in a way for a guy who never quite fit in the DCU's hierarchy, and perfectly bookended the first phase of his legend.
"Quiver"
In 2001, several years following the "death" of Oliver Queen, famed film director Kevin Smith, who had already given Daredevil new life at Marvel, brought the original Green Arrow back into the DC Universe and clearly had a tremendous time doing it. In a ten-part epic that featured Batman, Aquaman, the JLA, Hal Jordan as the Spectre, Etrigan, Black Canary, Arsenal, Black Manta, both Green Arrows and, last but not least, Stanley and his friggin' Monster, Smith and artist Phil Hester threw everything including the kitchen sink into an incredible journey that featured no shortage of action, mystery and laugh-out-loud moments, but most importantly, Oliver Queen never got lost in the shuffle and never felt more important or better-defined. Smith plays with Ollie as a man "out of time" and has some fun with that, mocks Batman's seriousness, explores heavy issues of spirituality and the afterlife, and writes incredible Etrigan dialogue all in the course of one story. Oh, and there are also absolutely amazing fight scenes, choreographed by Phil Hester, whose moody, angular, yet oh-so-fun art has made him one of the definitive Green Arrow artists of all time. I don't want to get too much heavier into the details lest I spoil it, but few stories about a guy with a bow and arrow feel bigger and more epic than "Quiver"; heck, few stories do period.
"The Archer's Quest"
Novelist Brad Meltzer's first foray into comics and, to this day, my favorite work he has done in the medium. It is very much Brad's love letter to Green Arrow and all the things he loves about Oliver Queen and his world, but to me it never gets self-indulgent, instead drawing you in as if you're reading over the shoulder of an enthusiastic kid who somehow got to write his favorite super hero. The presence of Roy Harper as he and his adopted dad go on a road trip to lock down the stuff Ollie lost while he was presumed dead is a treat as Meltzer really gets that character as well as what makes the relationship between Green Arrow and his former sidekick so unique. There are several great moments throughout this arc, from the surprising role of the Shade to Ollie's first real meeting with rookie Green Lantern Kyle Rayner as well as a neat Wally West moment and a game-changer cameo (though nobody saw it coming) for Catman. I would say my favorite part though remains the completel random and wonderfully crazy Green Arrow-Solomon Grundy fight, as Brad basically got curious what would happen if GA fought the Hulk and then put it on the page like that aforementioned kid talking to his buddies about comics. I've heard plenty of critiques of "Archer's Quest" from a lot of hardcore Green Arrow fans, but for me it was a refreshing breath of nostalgia from a guy who really seemed to be showing the love as well as a neat snapshot of a great character.

Nova has awesome bad guys

In the ever contentious world of comic book super hero fandom, I think you will find that one of the few nearly universally held opinions (and with a set-up like that I'm just begging for debate in the comments section, which I look forward to) is that though the order may be up for debate, Batman and Spider-Man have the two best rogues galleries in the business. If you ask me, Flash and the Fantastic Four clock in at three and four, though not necessarily in that order (Superman has three or four great villains, but that's still just three or four guys; I love the X-Men, but they spend too much time fighting dudes with ill-defined powers who stand in the shadows and gloat or bad guys whose names end in "o").

The one thing I think we can all agree on though, is that without any question whatsoever, Nova the Human Rocket and his array of foes round out the top five.

Ok, that may not be true (it's definitely not true), but Nova does have one of the more underrated assortment of antagonists around, most of whom have been criminally absent from prominence for the better part of thirty years. When you've got the likes of Marv Wolfman, the brothers Buscema and Carmine Infantino hard at work, I guess the first part of that last sentence should come as no surprise.

Here are a few of the dope Nova villains who should be fighting the Avengers right now...

Diamondhead
One look at this guy and you are probably instantly doubting any and all credibility you may have thought I possessed, but seriously, it's a name, design and general character that should be obsurd by all rights (and ok, he kinda is), but in the hands of the talented creators I mentioned, Diamondhead actually seemed like a credible threat. He's just your run-of-the-mill bruiser with diamond-hard skin, not a world beater by any stretch of the imagination, but he's possessed of that same "clearly minor villain who thinks he's hot shit" mentality that makes guys like the Rhino or Killer Croc so ultimately endearing. I mean, this guy gets his ass kicked routinely and has never scored even close to a major win, but he still goes out there every day in that outfit and thinks today's gonna be the day. He was also really Nova's first solo villain, and against the inexperienced Rich Rider he fared pretty well, so every time he butts heads with our boy, it's a decent barometer of where the Human Rocket is at (in their last post-Annihilation meeting, it was a very quick fight). And silly as the costume is, the Buscemas and Infantino really knew how to make it kinda cool.

The Condor
Points right off the bat have to go to the Condor (and Marv Wolfman) for being an African-American villain created in the 70's who didn't talk jive or deal drugs, but instead was a brilliant and malicious scientist who turned his genius towards his own thirst for power. I dig that unlike say Hawkman or Angel, Condor recognized right away that just wings were enough to rob banks and whatnot, but he was woefully undermatched against any and all super heroes, so the first thing he did was run out and recruit a far more impressive dude to partner up with (that would be Powerhouse, who we'll get to in a moment). Condor had an edge to him that most mad scientist types didn't in that he really did seem to get the big picture and made logical moves rather than crazy death traps and grandiose speeches (though he made plenty of those too). Also, like Diamondhead, Condor did have an inflated self-worth, which proved his ultimate undoing as the Sphinx (also to come) turned him into a bird, and he wouldn't return until years later as a 90's-tastic half-human monster I'd rather not talk about.

Powerhouse
The key to Powerhouse was that he was uber-mysterious and neither Nova, his villainous cohorts or the reader quite knew what he was about. Condor basically found him in a crashed spaceship Ma and Pa Kent-style and convinced him he was a bad dude, but you always knew there was more to this garishly purple power player than him just being Nova's equivalent of the Absorbing Man, and that was intriguing. His abilities were also neat, as Wolfman took the old "absorbs all forms of energy" chestnut but put a decent spin on it of Powerhouse being able to expel said energy in all sorts of ways. The fact that Powerhouse would start instinctively using his gifts in more intuitive and clever ways as he went on as well as the fact that Condor and Diamondhead were pretty terrified of him realizing that he wasn't their buddy added a nice dimension to the guy. Eventually we learned that he was in fact a good guy, a hero from the world of Xandar (where Nova's powers came from) in fact; given that Xandar has been destroyed many times over now, a surviving Powerhouse either as a bitter villain or hero with a chip on his shoulder would be a cool encounter for Nova or the other Marvel cosmic heroes.

Dr. Sun
Ah, the sublime absurdity of Dr. Sun. The good doctor was a Chinese genius who was obsessed with vampires and blood and ended up butting heads with Dracula (over in Tomb of Dracula, which Wolfman also wrote), rarely to his benefit. In one of the more bizarre shifts of motivation in comic book history, Dr. Sun ended up turning his attention from bloodsuckers to Nova's Xandarian computer power source (this is another reason I love Marv Wolfman and his seamless ability to shift genres) and put his brain in an impervious computer body the better with which to battle his new foe. However, the way Dr. Sun got close to Nova was friggin' fantastic, as he posed for months as young Robbie Rider's (Rich's kid brother) "detective robot," Sherly (short for Sherlock Holmes) before making his move. If today's writers can't find a place for a Chinese genius vampire hunter turned brain in a mechanical body who can pose as a Sherlock Holmes robot at will, perhaps they aren't really earning their paychecks.

The Sphinx
Indisputably the top man among Nova's villains, the Sphinx is also not surprisingly the one who has the most success in the wider Marvel Universe (albeit success that has still been pretty limited). At first, he was just a guy in the shadows playing puppet master to Nova's other foes who happened to have a neat Egyptian gimmick/look and some insight into Xandar and the root of our hero's powers. As time went on (both in Nova's original book, in Fantastic Four and years later in New Warriors), we learned that he was actually a wizard in the court of the pharoah who lost a duel to no less than Moses and ended up getting exiled to the Egyptian desert where he discovered the uber-powerful Ka Stone, which both gave him sick abilities and also made him immortal. As centuries passed, the Sphinx became ridiculously bored and eventually undertook a quest to amass power not because he wanted to rule the world or anything, but because it beat sitting around doing nothing, which really is pretty neat and unique motivation. Sphinx had a few great story arcs in New Warriors where he first clashed with a female version of himself that turned out to be a chick he had spurned after first getting his powers but unknowingly also made immortal, then ended up forming a strange andogynous bond with her. He came back briefly in Erik Larsen's Nova book, back to the old power-monger version, but hasn't show up since...but that will change this December. I'm thrilled to see ol' Stoneface back as he's a great old school villain with the perfect mix of a bad ass visual, great reason for doing what he does, and an air of mystery that still lingers despite us having learned so much of his story. Can't wait to see what Dan Abnett and Any Lanning do with him, and hopefully he'll have life beyond Nova as well.

Linko! XXIV

* Earlier this week, a post on Cartoon Brew led me to discover that Bill Wray has a blog. I generally don't follow creator blogs as much as I should, and the above page from a 1986 horror comic he drew proves why I'm an idiot for that. Damn, can he draw. I'd say it's a real shame that he doesn't do more comics work (and it is), but it's hard to get too upset when Wray's current show The Mighty B looks like too much fun. It's the one created by Amy Poehler that I keep meaning to watch more of. The closest thing we've got to a new John K show on TV now, I'd wager.

* Last week, while looking up resources for my overly-long Gundam statue post I found two rad links I forgot to mention before. First: Detroit's own Andrew WK recorded an entire album of metal covers of the music o Gundam. That one must have hit the wire because like 10,000 other people (or, you know...like six) were Tweeting about it all week. Second: Gundam creator Yoshiyuki Tomino declared "Video Games are evil."

* I didn't find this Gawker piece on how it's all over between fans and "Heroes" was that funny, but I bet it's how anyone who ever liked the show now feels. Did you watch the season opener? I had it on for 20 minutes while cooking dinner, and it felt like every other season of that show except there were circus freaks...oh, and mind wiping. (From Mike Cotton?)

* Dave Paggi is a genius finder of genius links Link: The People of WalMart.


* Promising new webcomic Link: Natalie Nourigat's Between Gears. (Via)

* In "not nearly as awesome" news, Brendan McGuirk Tweeted this link to highlights from something called the Lingerie Football League. It sucks. I don't even know why I'm posting it except to bitch. I mean, I think the idea of a women's football league is totally cool, even an arena-league style one. Making the players dress in next to nothing with some fakey shoulder pads makes it way stupider. Having a highlight reel that's just shots of women getting hit with no play-by-play context is even stupider than that. Do the financier's of this really think men want to watch this all day? They know there's plenty of free porn on the internet, right?

* Insane: If you have like $1.6 million, you too can Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio's house complete with the legendary "The Barn" studio. Side note: I haven't had time to buy their new album yet...or the new Brendan Benson album. I suck.

Let's wrap up with a shit load of video links, huh?

* #1 - Glenn Beck and the morning Zoo Crew. [Related: Andy Khouri's buds protest his 9/12 bullshit in style.]

* #2 - Andy Richter beats the pants of Wolf Blitzer and Dana Delany in Celebrity Jeopardy! Part 1, Part 2

* #3 - Christopher Reeve for the first time on the "Tonight Show." [I could write a whole post on this video both as a superhero fan and a late night talk show fan, but I'm too wore out these days to do that. Just watch]

Eye candy

Feeling lazy and watching lots of TV tonight instead of blogging. However, in lieu of a real post, check out this picture of TJ, Rickey, Dave and me from Rockport in 2007:

We are literally laughing at danger!

As a special bonus, here is the photo that will be used for either our first album cover or a promo shot for our new CW show:

Yay!

That time I bought Cyberfrog

So the truly knowledgable fans of comic minutiae among you may recall that prior to being the ultra-successful artist of projects like Flash: Rebirth, Ethan Van Sciver kicked off his career at the ripe old age of 19 by creating a magical character named CyberFrog. He looked like this:

Skip ahead to February of 2007 and I, Ben Morse, am out to dinner following one of the days at New York Comic Con with Ethan and several others, including none other than Rickey Purdin. As it usually did, talk eventually turned to CyberFrog and I was stuck with a genius idea: since Ethan didn't have any plans for the character, why not hand him over to an enterprising creator such as myself who could take that cyberball and run with it?

I used my not inconsiderable powers of negotiation and convinced Ethan to sell me the rights to CyberFrog for a cool $1 American. Rags Morales was on hand to act as our official witness and we drew up the deal of a lifetime...
Naturally I was so excited that I ran out ASAP and posted the following press release, complete with Rickey's dynamic redesign of the character, to Comic Bloc:

Cyberfrog-mania continues to sweep the comic book world!

High Five Comics ("Where we high five comics instead of slapping them down") is pleased to announce the creative team of CYBERFROG: REBIRTH, the revolutionary mini-series that will retcon all the crappy stuff Ethan Van Sciver did and launch Cyberfrog into an exciting new world of action and excitement:

Superstar artist Rickey Purdin (Wizard: Diary) and unknown writer TJ Dietsch ("I did an essay in my linguistics class on R. Crumb's work and then another essay that compared the characterization of LOEG characters from the comics and their original novels")!

High Five hopes to release an interview with the CYBERFROG: REBIRTH team later this afternoon if they have time, but until then, feast your eyes on this exclusive first look at the NEW Cyberfrog courtesy of Rickey Purdin:
I also added the following amendment:

I'm no longer using the inner capitalization when writing "Cyberfrog." It reeks of the 90s and this property, for me, is not about dwelling in the past, but about looking forward and realizing the full, brilliant potential of the epic story of a cybernetically-enhanced frog that Ethan Van Sciver created when he was 19.

So here we are, over two years later, and sadly no Cyberfrog product from High Five Comics ever materialized. I've been asked the same question time and again: what happened?

What can I say? We were just a bunch of kids with big dreams and big ideas, maybe too big. Life happened.

And after a year of us not doing anything, I realized the back of the napkin said Ethan got the rights back.

The moral of the story is that if you are a successful comic book creator reading this blog and have a character you created as a teenager and are not currently using, please sell it to Rickey, TJ and myself. We have totally learned our lesson.

Thank you.

Melrose Memo III: Grand

The facts: the original Melrose Place is probably my favorite television show of all time. I could write an essay on why, but let's just leave it at "it is" for now. I have waited patiently for a decade, and now at long last my beloved Melrose has been remade for a new generation...but will it be any good? That is what I will explore here each Tuesday night (or Wednesday evening) in the Melrose Memo. I understand that those of you coming here for comics, movie or general geek news probably have little to no interest in hearing my thoughts on this program, but people--it's Melrose Place.

Now, as my friend Sean would say, read on if you wish, but do not allow me to spoil the elaborate mythology of this show for you; in other words, watch before reading!

-So obviously tonight's new episode got a bit overshadowed as the world of the Place was rocked by the immense news that Heather Locklear will be making her return to 4616 Melrose in November, but before we get there, we've no doubt got plenty of crazy shit ahead even without Amanda, so let's get to it.

-Unfortunately this was a bit of a letdown from the first two tremendous episodes. It wasn't a total stinker and there was much good which I will get into below, but I think the heavy focus on Jonah, Riley and their relationship really exposed how weak those characters and that dynamic is next to the cooler stuff and dragged the episode down a bit; more on that as we go as well.

-Ok, they should just make it a mandatory rule that every recap end with a close-up of Violet's crazy eyes; the art of the crazy eyes is most definitely one Ashlee Simpson has nailed pitch perfect and that this show should exploit to the max. Speaking of Vi, after having a bit of trouble getting a read on her value to the show and just how good Simpson would pull off the character the first week then being surprised by the nuttiness last week, this time around she seemed to totally settle into the character and became absolutely indispensible in a matter of scenes. Just as Ella is carrying that Amanda torch, Violet is quickly developing into a suitable Kimberly surrogate (nobody can match the original, of course) with a nice dash of Sydney thrown in for good measure. The scene with her hiding in Syd's closet, everything with her wearing that dress, her weird bonding with Riley, her flirting with Auggie--it was all the perfect mix of entertainment and discomfort and I'm really pleased with what she brings to the table. The inevitable throwdown when she finds out Auggie is into Riley should be glorious. Hopefully Kimberly left some gasoline containers and duct tape in the laundry room.

-The other bright spot of this episode was Thomas Calabro getting the spotlight and letting a bit more of classic Michael Mancini bubble to the surface as opposed to his more subdued and mature act in the pilot. Michael degenerated into a bit of a goofball in the final seasons of the original Melrose, and that was a lot of fun, but I'd forgotten that his turn as evil bastard/stone cold manipulator was one of the sparks that ignited the show, and it was neat to see him getting back to that. I have no idea what angle he's working with Lauren, but I'm just happy to see him latching onto one of the naive new cast members and working his magic. He was also such a douche in their interview I had to smile; and of course it's not a matter of if he will bag Lauren, it's when and whether or not he'll be compensating her for it financially.

-Just as Michael was back to classic Michael in the present, Sydney was totally classic Sydney in her flashback scenes with him, which were all great. Obviously those two have always had a wonderful chemistry, and it was nice to see the flirty, needy, blackmailing schoolgirl side he brings out of her one more time (hopefully not the last time). It was also nice to see Laura Leighton playing opposite somebody closer to her age for once as it didn't make me feel like she was old, which depresses me.

-Speaking of Sydney and Michael, there's a lot about her faked first death that still doesn't add up and I certainly hope this isn't the last time they'll revisit it. For one thing, I have trouble buying that Michael actually cared about Sydney enough to put his neck on the line for her and pull the con in the first place. Michael loved Jane, was inextricably tied to Kimberly, was infatuated with Megan and wanted Lexie really bad, but Syd was only ever a plaything for when he got bored; either that tender moment they shared in the morgue was part of a bigger scheme on Michael's part or the writers didn't do their homework. I also didn't really understand what Sydney was saying as she was wheeled in about "somebody from her past" being responsible for what happened as it was definitely Samantha's dad who hit her with a car, and I'm pretty sure nobody has any interest in revisiting that character; I think she also said something about her husband, which would have been Craig at the time, and I can't see David Charvet getting a call to resurrect his deceased character either. Of course there's also the fact that when the event originally went down back in Melrose season five Syd was pronounced dead at the scene, but if they wanna retcon that I'm not really gonna bitch.

-So like I said, Jonah and Riley were pretty terrible in this episode, which was a shame given that they got the lion's share of the camera time. The "you haven't told your parents we're engaged" argument is such a lame cliche and I'm disappointed they went there. It feels like they're just manufacturing stupid shit for these two to bicker about every week so that they can have a romantic apology session at the end of each episode ala early Billy and Alison, and that's going to get real old real fast (it already is). And again, if they've really been together "like forever," how can they be having these mundane fights for the first time now?

-When they were separated, I felt like Jonah's stock in particular fell this episode as his bit with the pop star was lame and the whole set-up of him directing a music video on Ella's recommendation was implausible on a show built for the implausible. He still had some decent lines, but he was overall neurotic and annoying and it's tough to see why practically every lady on the show is throwing herself at him (this coming from a neurotic, annoying guy).

-That said, he did make that video much better.

-With Riley, I actually started to see glimmers of potential if she can just develop a bit of an edge like Alison did when Amanda came along. On one level pairing her with Auggie is a terrible idea if only because he's a pretty awful actor (unclench your teeth when you talk, dude), but on the other hand, it's more interesting than where she's at now and would put her on crazy Vi's radar.

-"His lips are really chapped and it's grossing me out." -Megan on Jonah's closeups.

-How did Syd get a piano in her apartment? Why did Syd have a piano in her apartment?

-Mention of both Facebook and Twitter in this episode reeked of them trying to be too relevant. Do something really bold and have Violet still be on Friendster, pissed off that nobody in the apartment has friended her.

-Riley suggested Vi make Auggie a mix CD?! Really?!?!

-That said, I would have loved to have heard it.

-"It's interesting that I don't find the girl with the gun to be the craziest person on the show. I think that's good." -Megan on the firearm-wielding pop starlet.

-Ella had an off episode, and again, I think it was an issue of being in proximity to the black hole of Jonah/Riley. Much as I like Katie Cassidy, even Heather Locklear had trouble making her part as the third wheel in the Billy/Alison relationship really work, and there's only one Heather Locklear (coming soon to this show!). I just don't buy her being interested in Jonah; if they had more chemistry, I'd have no problem buying a bitchy girl/nerdy guy hookup, but I'm just not feeling it.

-As for David, I still don't like him, but he lucked into having Michael as a dad, meaning he gets to share mucho screen time with Thomas Calabro and can basically just be a set piece while the man does his glorious overacting.

-"Even after all these years, I can't believe Michael is really a doctor." -Megan, having trouble picturing Mancini: The Med School Years (holy shit that needs to be a spin-off)

-Despite the fact neither of them wowed me tonight, both Auggie and Jonah had great lines with "Relationships are complicated--cooking comes with instructions" and "I'm pretty much the least intimidating person I know" respectively.

-I can honestly say I have no idea who killed Sydney; they're doing a great job thus far with the mystery.

-Another dynamite final shot! Michael has computer files on not only most of the new cast members but a bunch of the old ones as well! Obviously Jane and Jo are on there because they're confirmed to guest star, but did they somehow get Courtney Thorne-Smith as well or is Alison a weird red herring? And did he have files on more newbies than just David, Ella and Auggie and those are just the ones we saw or is that a clue?

-Despite this probably being the weakest episode yet, I was still thoroughly entertained. And next week: Jane's back! Jane is one of my least favorite characters from the original and Megan's absolute least favorite, but we were both jumping up and down during the preview (ok, just Megan was) which just shows how much we love this fucking franchise.